Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
