i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
it's like heaven, but drunker
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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