Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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