Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
