PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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