i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
