So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
