Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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