Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
