We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
