and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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