I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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