can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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