just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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