he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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