Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
