went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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