You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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