I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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