Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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