i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
