We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
