if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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