the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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