i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
