So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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