when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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