I bet he comes in French.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
