***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
