my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
