i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
