i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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