I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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