ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
