I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
