If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
