Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
