I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
