why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
