About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
