it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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