I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
