I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
