2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have already put on my inside pants.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
