It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
