And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize