Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
