I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
