Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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