so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
