ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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